SOUP IS
A SCAM
The culinary industry has been lying to you for centuries. It's just wet food.
We've developed better techniques for preparation but we refuse to use them.
"I don't want to sift around in a liquid in order to find my food. I paid for it, they should just give it to me instead of hiding it in water."
Gurjant Kalsi
Solid Food Advocate
The Manifesto
For too long, we have sat idly by while chefs and restaurateurs dilute our meals. They take perfectly good vegetables, meats, and grains, and they drown them. They boil away the texture, the crunch, the very soul of the ingredients until nothing remains but a homogenous slurry.
Think about it. When you order a steak, you pay for the meat. When you order a salad, you pay for the fresh greens. But when you order soup? You are paying premium prices for what is essentially flavored hydration. It is an economic inefficiency masked as a "comfort food."
We define "food" as something that requires mastication. If you can consume your entire meal through a straw, you haven't eaten dinner—you've had a hot beverage.
The Evidence
We have gathered irrefutable proof that soup is an inefficient, deceptive, and structurally flawed meal format.
Hot Smoothie Propaganda
Soup is merely a vegetable smoothie served at a dangerous temperature. By heating it, they attempt to hide the fact that it's just pureed salad. Don't be fooled by the steam.
Inefficient Delivery
Soup takes otherwise accessible ingredients and hides them in a liquid which makes the overall consumption more tedious. Any flavour imparted by the soup could also be achieved with a sauce.
Bowl Depth Conspiracies
Ceramic engineers conspire to make the last 10% of the bowl mechanically inaccessible. The "tilt" maneuver is a demeaning ritual forced upon us by Big Soup.